Its about making memories worth repressing
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
