i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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