We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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