3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
