i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
