TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
