My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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