so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
