You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
