just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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