Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
