Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
40s are totally the cure
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
