i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Randomize
