WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
