Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We are two peas in an std pod
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
