Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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