I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Thank you for not boning my boss.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
