Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
