walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
