Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize