Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Randomize
