Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
