whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
