just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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