Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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