Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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