That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am one with the molecules
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
