Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
