Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
