belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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