You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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