Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
