did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
