I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize