Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
