I want to walk on stilts...naked
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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