names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
