i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
