she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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