Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
