Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
