You can't special order awesome
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
