im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
