His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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