Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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