Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
