Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
