You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
