yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You're like the curious george of whores
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
