Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
