I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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