The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I still have a little drunk in my system
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
