every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
foreskin is a definite game changer
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I came so hard my ears popped.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
