Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
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It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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