Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
