i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.