I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Operation Purity has been aborted
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize