i already hear my dad disowning me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic