Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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  (702): The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before http://tfl.nu/ogqr
  Replies (5) Good night (2819) Bad night (629)
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  (323): View more from California

  rhymes with "ouble enetration"

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  (323): rhymes with "ouble enetration" http://tfl.nu/bg50
  Replies (33) Good night (4089) Bad night (812)
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  (209): View more from California

  Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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  (209): Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese? http://tfl.nu/1zro
  Replies (53) Good night (3581) Bad night (784)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

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  (802): the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME http://tfl.nu/i706
  Replies (51) Good night (742) Bad night (6992)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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  (817): 2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester. http://tfl.nu/1qgy
  Replies (5) Good night (2791) Bad night (992)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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  (254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1854) Bad night (1060)
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  (516): View more from New York

  nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

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  (516): nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex http://tfl.nu/zwof
  Replies (9) Good night (3197) Bad night (1212)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!

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  (970): we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate! http://tfl.nu/w8sf
  Replies (1) Good night (1627) Bad night (612)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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  (505): He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand. http://tfl.nu/5zt4
  Replies (2) Good night (1042) Bad night (2023)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...

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  (514): We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one... http://tfl.nu/kexj
  Replies (11) Good night (2934) Bad night (889)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  (317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (448)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.

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  (850): He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other. http://tfl.nu/l9kx
  Replies (9) Good night (519) Bad night (917)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore

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  (603): The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore http://tfl.nu/4txe
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (316)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear

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  (734): If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear http://tfl.nu/bc5m
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (294)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?

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  (336): Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid? http://tfl.nu/9dj6
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (236)

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