Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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  (412): I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God. http://tfl.nu/yxgi
  Replies (34) Good night (1237) Bad night (2716)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  college has opened so many doors for you

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  (281): Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him (1-281): college has opened so many doors for you http://tfl.nu/e6am
  Replies (44) Good night (4606) Bad night (954)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a beautiful day for a hangover

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  (215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7
  Replies (32) Good night (4579) Bad night (824)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.

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  (651): whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/g1hs
  Replies (5) Good night (5658) Bad night (735)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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  (630): She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce http://tfl.nu/xuim
  Replies (32) Good night (4219) Bad night (2008)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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  (325): As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, http://tfl.nu/ohf2
  Replies (11) Good night (4172) Bad night (1646)
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  (818): View more from California

  I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.

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  (818): I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. http://tfl.nu/hxik
  Replies (10) Good night (1070) Bad night (1778)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.

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  (303): I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us. http://tfl.nu/59u4
  Replies (10) Good night (1939) Bad night (623)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

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  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (1080)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

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  (781): Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms http://tfl.nu/wx24
  Replies (10) Good night (1339) Bad night (822)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.

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  (786): I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming. http://tfl.nu/qge1
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (665)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.

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  (201): If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses. http://tfl.nu/91v1
  Replies (0) Good night (641) Bad night (361)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.

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  (405): Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk. http://tfl.nu/nrcu
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (322)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.

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  (330): We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/w4f0
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (160)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???

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  (937): Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night??? http://tfl.nu/rsju
  Replies (1) Good night (228) Bad night (89)

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