i need an iv and a liver transplant
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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