it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.