but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.