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• (433): View more from

  There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (716): View more from New York

  please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

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• (310): View more from California

  I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.

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