Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night

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(845): maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night http://tfl.nu/d95d

Replies (12) Good night (934) Bad night (2852)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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(614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb

Replies (52) Good night (12830) Bad night (801)
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(206): View more from Washington

at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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(206): at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception. http://tfl.nu/j51s

Replies (34) Good night (1739) Bad night (4776)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.

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(908): My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated. http://tfl.nu/0c6p

Replies (15) Good night (1085) Bad night (4325)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.

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(205): I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine. http://tfl.nu/wlnl

Replies (50) Good night (2420) Bad night (7818)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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(502): He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up. http://tfl.nu/onjv

Replies (12) Good night (1441) Bad night (4093)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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(610): I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out. http://tfl.nu/jm8j

Replies (12) Good night (3619) Bad night (1102)
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(734): View more from Michigan

he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'

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(734): he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?' http://tfl.nu/pjxw

Replies (4) Good night (2174) Bad night (891)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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(336): I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead. http://tfl.nu/ixs0

Replies (4) Good night (2373) Bad night (673)
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(716): View more from New York

Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.

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(716): Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them. http://tfl.nu/pe21

Replies (9) Good night (2249) Bad night (897)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.

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(404): Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/2wxu

Replies (8) Good night (3761) Bad night (541)
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(253): View more from Washington

We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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(253): We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight http://tfl.nu/nnba

Replies (18) Good night (1757) Bad night (547)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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(443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn

Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (960)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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(505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww

Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (289)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.

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(403): I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/f5oy

Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (292)

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