cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your cock deserves a montage
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
