were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
