just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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