You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
