i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
