i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
